ok. so i've been getting ENOUGH spam regarding quite a few things.
1.) my level of intelect.
2.) various other things
3.) my personal life
4.) my love life.
so here it is;
1. Yes. i am VERY MUCH WELL aware that Nightwing is a DC Comics character. i did NOT state that the Nightwing that i use is Dick Grayson. in fact the history of my nightwing is that in the beginning he (like dick and the others) was A Robin for a brief time but went off to go by another name. he simply took the name Nightwing when 1.) bruce Died/Went back in time. and 2. When Dick became batman but turned down the role of him.
2. Really? trolls? don't you think you've had enough? seriously if people can't tell fantasy or whatever then whose the real retard? i mean come on. apparently i should say this so listen when i really mean this. if i didn't have an escape, i'd kill myself. i'm not professionally publishing anything. if anything i'm doing this ALL for fun. i wrote most of it cause i felt like it. i wanted to post it on here to see what you guys think. i mean for god sakes, don't you think i've had enough shit go on in my life that maybe for ONCE i deserve an escape? i mean my family life with my sisters, is shit. my love life, is shit. my relationships with friends or people who want to get to know me, is, well, Shit. Work everything. Shit. maybe i deserve an escape, maybe i deserve to write. i'm not publishing it for Monitary purposes. yes i do want to kill myself at times. but maybe THIS is a BETTER way of cooling and calming myself down.
3. again, Life in general, is shit. Friend is Leaving for Utah in August for 2 years. other former-friends are treating me a villian, got no chance in anything at work and church makes me feel more and more like garbage.
4. a lot of people are telling me that they're going to be here for me, friends both male and female, and i appreciate that more and more every day. but maybe i just want to come home to someone with a smile cause they're happy to see me or get a text from them or for them to call for no reason other than the fact that they missed me.
yes, in that story when "The Hooker" wanted to "show me a good time" I (in the story) turned her down. i put a lot of thought into my writing method. even stuff i WOULD go through. yes to me, Sex is NOT important but it should mean something, not just jump into bed with someone at the drop of the hat and not have them be there. maybe i'm ready for something real. so i put myself in the stories not to be a Mary sue, but for it to be an escape.
it's bad enough that i've given myself a time limit to where i would end my life should the right things shouldn't come along. i'm 28. to some, my life is initially over. to people in their 50's my life is only beginning and i have a lot to look forward to. but my youngest sister is 20. all my sisters have Children. the only thing people think i deserve is to be treated like garbage by others or some hooker to only want me.
if you want a breif what my life is like? it's Sunday. wake up. go to church. deal with people who want to treat me like garbage all because they think i'm worthless and they like to think i've done NOTHING good. my sisters take the sides of their friends. my sisters treat me like i'm stupid. my stepmom considers me the creepy uncle. i'm stuck beneath an Idiot and a retard for my chances to extend in my job. every woman i've been with has moved on and thought of me as a mistake. so truthfully, i think i have every reason to off myself. but i Don't. not yet. not until i'm certain.
so there you have it. why i write, severe honesty. you name it. if you seriously want to care make sure that you do. i'm not going to wait around for friends or watchers to want to care when i do. but that's just how i am. if the people i watch are feeling like crap i'll talk to them about it. but yeah i keep to myself and don't lean on others cause maybe i don't want to be hurt again. so i look for escape.
which, i intend to do right now. (the writing that is.)